


One step at a time

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: How to woo your local barista [24]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, Awkward Raphael, Awkwardness, Barista Raphael, Declarations Of Love, Demisexual Raphael Santiago, Established Relationship, Fluff, Homoromantic Raphael Santiago, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Showers, Shy Raphael, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: "At least I don't look like a wet poodle," he replied with a pout but felt the corners of his mouth twitch at the sound of Raphael's laughter following his comment.
"Just because your hair is a little less curly than mine doesn't mean you don't look like a poodle, my dear."
"Cállate!"
Raphael laughed again because his habit of using Spanish words or phrases every once in a while was successfully rubbing off on his boyfriend by now. The fact that he was teaching Simon some Spanish only added to this picked-up habit but Raphael couldn't say that he minded. He loved it when his boyfriend used Spanish words every now and then - especially because it made him happy that Simon was so eager to learn his parent's mother tongue that he never really spoke growing up.





	

Simon blinked when he stepped into the shower and the first droplets of water hit his face, clinging to his lashes. He ducked his head a little and before he could close the door to keep the water from pouring into his bathroom, he already heard it shut with a click, felt Raphael's arm brush his side in the process.

"You look ridiculous," Raphael commented over the sound of rushing water and Simon didn't need to look up to know his lover's lips were curled into a grin. The exact moment he did decide to lift his head again, he felt the other's hand run through his hair and mess it up so it wasn't just plastered to his forehead anymore.

"At least I don't look like a wet poodle," he replied with a pout but felt the corners of his mouth twitch at the sound of Raphael's laughter following his comment.

"Just because your hair is a little less curly than mine doesn't mean you don't look like a poodle, my dear."

" _Cállate_!"

Raphael laughed again because his habit of using Spanish words or phrases every once in a while was successfully rubbing off on his boyfriend by now. The fact that he was teaching Simon some Spanish only added to this picked-up habit but Raphael couldn't say that he minded. He loved it when his boyfriend used Spanish words every now and then - especially because it made him happy that Simon was so eager to learn his parent's mother tongue that he never really spoke growing up.

"I wanted to ask you something," Simon started after a beat of silence and his hands came to rest on Raphael's hips who mirrored the gesture, fingertips brushing the wet skin just above Simon's hip bone. It was kind of weird to shower together because they hadn't done this by now and had only ever been hacked in the process of having sex but it was also quite nice. They had been on a walk in the snow earlier and there was no better way to get rid of the cold that had settled in their bones than a long, warm shower. It had only been fair to simply share the shower instead of one having to freeze longer.

"Oh? And you decide now is the right time?" Raphael asked, teasing amusement clear in his beautiful dark eyes. Simon resisted the urge to lift his hand and brush his thumb over the other's eye and remove the droplets of water that got stuck to Raphael's thick lashes.

"Why not?" Simon asked, cocking his head a little and raising his eyebrows - another one of the habits he most definitely picked up from his boyfriend because he never used to communicate much with his eyebrows. Raphael snorted softly and stepped a little closer, their bodies almost touching now and the other was close enough for Simon to feel warm breath fanning over his wet skin.

"We're both naked and wet - that's a slightly weird setting for a serious discussion, don't you think?" Raphael wanted to know and his lips brushed Simon's skin while uttering some of the words, causing goosebumps to form and a shiver to run down Simon's spine.

"Uh...maybe...?"

Simon's breath caught in his throat when his lover pressed a proper kiss to the side of his neck, softly scraping his teeth over the pale skin, followed by another kiss. Simon instantly forgot what he was about to say and his fingertips pressed against Raphael's hips while he tilted his head for better access. He could feel Raphael's grin against his skin.

"I love you," Simon heard himself whisper instead of continuing whatever it was he had started talking about before. It could wait.

"I know."

He was unable to hold back a soft laughter at Raphael's reply.

"Did you seriously just quote Star Wars to me?"

Instead of answering, Raphael turned them around and gently pressed Simon against the tiled wall, making him shiver slightly at the sudden cold against his back and a surprised little squeak escaped Simon's lips when his lover bit down on his neck - not in a painful way, of course, but it still took him by surprise.

"I was wondering," Raphael breathed against his skin after leaving at least a small hickey at the side of Simon's neck, "if...maybe...we could try a step further?"

Simon opened his eyes, only now realising he had closed them, and blinked a few drops of water away but all he could see was the wet, curly hair of his lover who was still close to his neck. The sound of the water made it a little difficult to understand the mumbled words but Simon was pretty sure he had heard this correctly.

"A step further? Like...?" Simon left the sentence open, prompting his boyfriend to fill in the blank because he wasn't quite sure where Raphael was going. Well, of course, he knew the direction and what they were talking about in general but he wasn't sure what this _step further_ was supposed to be. By now they had sex a few times already but except for two blowjobs from Simon it had been handjobs, jerking each other off. He knew the next step wouldn't be the all-the-way kind of sex, of the penetrative variety, but he wasn't quite sure what Raphael's idea of the next step between handjobs and _the real deal_ was.

"I thought we could--I wanted to--" Raphael breathed out harshly, clearly annoyed by his inability to find the right words and to voice his thoughts. Simon totally got it, though. Being close and touching each other, letting the situation develop naturally was one thing but voicing it and saying what to do was...still new and a little bit weird. It was something they still had to get used to but Simon didn't mind learning to overcome this awkwardness together.

"Hey, maybe you could show me?" Simon offered and gently brushed his fingertips over the other's sides to help him relax and overcome his nervousness at least a little. Raphael took another breath, pressed a soft kiss to Simon's shoulder and finally nodded ever so slightly. Simon paused his movements and waited calmly for Raphael to take the lead.

A moment later he felt the other's fingers curl around his hand and tug it off of Raphael's body. His boyfriend hesitated again before tentatively placing Simon's hand on his hip but that wasn't all. Simon's eyes widened a tiny bit when his hand was slowly pushed further to Raphael's backside, resting low on the other's back, where it curved into the soft shape of his bum. This was all it took for Simon to understand what his lover was trying to tell him or, more precisely, what he was trying to ask him.

"We can do that if you're sure. Did you also have in mind which way you want to do it? Like, do you want to touch me or...?" Simon inquired and leant back a little, pressing more against the tiled wall to maybe catch a glimpse of Raphael's face. The other seemed to get the hint and reluctantly distanced himself from Simon a little bit but kept his gaze fixed to his lover's shoulder, cheeks dusted a dark pink that had nothing to do with the war water pouring down on them.

"I want you to touch me," Raphael admitted almost shyly after a beat of silence and it sounded close to being a question. Simon watched the other's teeth gently sink into his plush bottom lip and suppressed a sigh at this.

"How about we start the other way around? You seem uncomfortable at the thought alone," Simon said gently, raising a hand to brush his thumb over the younger boy's cheek and smile encouragingly at him, even though Raphael's eyes were still downcast. It was a little weird how shy his boyfriend could get when it was just the two of them and they talked about intimacy but Simon definitely understood the awkward feeling that came with this topic and it was probably a little worse for Raphael because he still had to figure out what it was that he liked.

Sure, Simon had only done a few things himself but he still had some kind of idea what he would like and what wasn't his thing, at least in theory. He had watched a certain amount of porn and knew what he liked to see, what he could also imagine for himself. But he also knew that it was different for Raphael, they had talked about it a while ago - his lover had tried watching porn but it hadn't really done anything for him. Watching two strangers having sex had been awkward and weird for him, almost to the level of repulsion.

Simon kind of loved these kinds of talks, not because it was about sex, but because it helped him understand his lover's sexuality. By now, Raphael had just identified as asexual but talking about it and researching the term together had led to the realisation that demisexual was probably an even better term. Because Raphael hadn't cared about sex - or even masturbation, for that matter - until a few months into their relationship and the sexual attraction had only come with getting to know Simon better, building a certain level of trust and comfort with him.

"No, that's not--Of course I'm uncomfortable but not because I don't want it. I want to know if I'm okay with it if I can do this and feel good being touched like this, but the thought is still weird," Raphael admitted softly, finally glancing up at Simon with a flicker of insecurity in his pretty dark eyes. Simon's lips curled into a loving, encouraging smile all on their own and he couldn't help but wrap Raphael up in a tender hug.

"We can try it but you can always change your mind, okay? I won't do anything you don't like and we can always switch. But I get it, you want to know your own boundaries."

Raphael nodded and a flash of gratitude washed over the insecure expression on his face.

"And we certainly won't do it right now because this is really not the right place and it would feel kind of forced to do it on command," Simon added and pressed a kiss to the tip of Raphael's nose because he was pretty sure the other had _right now_ in mind. But Simon would certainly not go this step without lube and he wanted to be in his bed, especially so that Raphael could be more comfortable and relaxed. The next time they got intimate they could decide if the wanted to take this step but for now, talking about it seemed like enough and Raphael agreed with another nod before pulling Simon into a gentle kiss, whispering a soft " _Te amo_ " against his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Initially the "one step further" was supposed to happen in this chapter but then it felt better and more natural to just have them address it and not have sex right away. Seemed more fitting for their relationship and the talk is important enough to have a chapter of its own.
> 
> And I hope I deal with everything properly but if I do mess something up (not just in this chapter but in general), please feel free to correct me :)


End file.
